초등학교 2학년, 민지가, 내 옆자리에, 앉을 때부터, 시작되었다.

게시글 주소: https://dev.orbi.kr/00077339143

"우아아아아앙 ㅠㅠㅠㅠ 선생님, 옯붕이랑 짝하기 싫어요 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ."

그 땐, 대수롭지 않게, 넘겼었다. 이후, 초등학교 졸업할, 때까지, 여자애들은, 수상하리다싶이, 나를 피했고, 나를, 볼 때마다, 인상을 찌그려트렸다.

중학교 2학년, 한참, 2차성징이, 진행되어 슬슬, 아기낳을, 본능이 발현되는 시기. 옷깃만 스쳐도, 그, 자리에서, 모텔을 가는, 나이대라고, 할 수, 있겠다. 하지만, 문명에서도, 자연도태는, 있었나보다. 여자애들은, 복도에서, 내가, 지나갈 때마다

"야 ㅋㅋㅋ 저기 니 남친 지나간다 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ"

"아 ㅈㄹ하지마!"

라는 특유의, 나를, 거부적인 존재로, 바라보는, 것이었다.

그런데, 짚신도, 제, 짝이 있다고, 하더니, 수학, 시간에, 우리반 반장, 연주가, 내가, 깜빡하고 안 가져온, 교과서를, 생글생글 웃으며, 빌려주는 것이, 아닌가. 우로보로스! 비익조와 연리지가, 찾아온, 것이다! 그날, 종례 후, 연주를 위해, 점심에(나한테 교과서를 건네준 그 고운 손길과 따스한 미소를 생각하며 한 번 실례했지만), 정성스레 써둔, 진심이 담긴, 편지를, 건넸다. 연주는, 달라! 겉모습으로만 사람을 보1지 않아! 나의 진심을 알아줄거야! 어...어? 여...연주야? 왜 그런 표정을 지어...? 너도...너도...얼굴만 보는... 그런 김치야? 이...이...위선걸레년... 사람의 마음을 가지고 장난이나 치는 흑보5지김치련이!!!

다 똑같다. 얼굴이, 전부다. 난, 여자한테, 사랑받을, 수, 없는 존재다. 난, 짚신만도, 못한 놈이다. 그저, 몇 번, 신기고 버려지는 그런 것보다도, 신길 가치도, 없는, 신도, 피하는, 개똥이었다. 이 때, 부터였다. 내가, 점점, 말 수가, 줄어들고, 디시에 살고, 안 씻고, 몸이 불고, 밤낮이, 바뀌고, 냄새가, 나기, 시작, 했다. 중3 겨울방학이, 됐을 때, 어머니께서는, 방문을, 두들기며, 밖에 좀, 나가서, 바람이라도, 쐬라며, 방학이 2주가, 지나는동안, 방문을, 걸어잠근 나를, 보채셨다. 이미, 나는, 연주 그 년이, 학생회장, 김흥진 그 기생오라비에게, 8옥타브 신음소리를, 내며, 쇼팽의, 흥건빽보를 연주당하며, 말잦 쑥 넣는 비밀을, 숨긴 채, 나를, 속인 뒤로, 세상을, 차단했기에, 부질 없는, 것이었다.

하루 종일, 인터넷에 갇혀, 사니, 내신성적은, 바닥이었고, 고3이 되자, 정시파이터가, 되었다. 남자의 자존심, 사탐런은 계집, 미적분과, 물1, 화1을 선택했다. 2년 내내, 급우들과, 대화를, 아예 하지, 않았고, 자연스레, 나의, 세계는, 어느 커뮤니티를, 향해, 있었다.

'강k 이번회차 92점인데 크게 어렵진 않은듯뇨?'

'(기록용)이감 이번에 어려웠다는데 본인 96점, 독서론1개, 매체1개 틀렸는데 저만 이런가요?'

오르비

그렇다. 이곳은, 나의, 왕국이었다. 허언증, 호머식 채점, 미적과탐, 그리고...짚신!이하! 동질감. 김흥진, 그놈과는 다른, 전교1등, 전교회장, 이규현과는, 다른! 또다른, 내가, 있었다. 더욱, 나의 세계는, 오르비에 있었고, 현실은, 나는, 서로를, 지워갔다. 그러나...

그 날이었다. 도대체... 왜... 왜!!! 왜!!!! 이단이...나타난, 것이냐!!! 믿을 수 없었다. 처음엔, 의심하지 않았다.

어느

옯붕이의

글

제목

'오늘 친구 만나는 날이야!! 이거 입어볼게~'

그런데... 얼마, 지나지 않아, 그 글의, 작성자, 국적이, 바뀌었다.

'짝녀 스토리에 댓글 달았는데 답장 왔다!!'

한남이, 옯붕이가, 빡붕이가, 부남이, 내가... 아니라고? 비익조와, 연리지? 짝이 있는 주제에... 이 성소에... 도태가 아닌, 주제에... 상주를 해? 믿을 수 없었고, 싫었고, 오르비에, 실망했다. 세상을, 잃는다는게, 이런, 기분을, 처음으로, 느낌당했다.

얼굴이 전부야, 모든, 남자는, 못생겼어, 여자는, 얼굴, 없으면, 남자 안 봐, 모든, 남자는, 연애, 샵물결샵, 다, 못해, 나만, 못생긴, 아니야, 다, 한남, 도태, 오르비, 빡갤, 디시, 시대갤, 의사, 의대가면 여자친구, 못생겼어!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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